Hamsters in Wheels, Forever Spinning in Circles
This same person asked me to provide an alternative buzz word to this one in question: corporate innovation. My response,"The irony is staggering. The whole objective of being innovative and creative in this so called Valley hub of geniuses is that you shouldn't:
#1: be using buzz words but be naturally thinking differently
#2: copycat other buzz words to anyone with ears
#3: for the love of G-d, cease the calamity pattern of repetition and insecurity"
Innovation means you are innovative, it's that simple. By the Bay Area's constant recycling of these ridiculous words (until the next lame trend series comes along), they're not being unique in their thought process, speech patterns and reflection of what creativity and entrepreneurship means. They're simply duplicating the hype word of the day, injecting it in any given sentence like crap SEO keyword stuffing. The problem is they need to fit in. If everyone's talking these phrases, they believe they must also jump on the bandwagon and harp it from the bowels of their lungs at every opportunity. Their insecurity dictates they are crying out to mold into the scene and people will know, that they know, that they all harmoniously know the buzz word has reached their mediocre low IQ levels - everyone's talking the same lingo. Aren't you all proud of yourselves for copying the masses?
Get A Grip - (Wo)Man Up!
Course you're not - you come across as a bunch of Northern California parrots. If you were running a variation of Chinese Whispers (aka Telephone game), then at least you'd be reforming phrases differently and using what's inside your skull. But you've failed to do this. Copycats are killing innovation in the Bay Area. Because the same ridiculous, lazy attitude is directly reflecting on the horrifically unimaginative level of start ups being formed. Everyone now thinks they're an entrepreneur. They spout this proudly even when they 'believe' that they thought of a business idea, sat on it, talked about it to a few friends and failed to execute one single objective. These are the same parrots regurgitating buzz words, obsessively frantic to impress.
Fitting in = NOT being a entrepreneur. That's a fact.
Phrase Buzz Kill
These are the same copycats who create replica businesses of proven well funded models, knowing VC's and Angels only take very low risk investments. In their pitches to the public masses, these bounders vomit buzz word faster than the speed of sound and everyone nods in agreement: 'Well if Joe Schmo can say these phrases during their elevator pitch, Joe must be worth funding. Let's take him seriously, throw cash his way and when his start up bottoms out because he's a clueless buffoon, we'll fund his next copycat idea since Joe's on a buzz word roll. And we like that because it's safe, familiar and we're all a flock of cash-deep ready-to-fund sheep.' Well done Joe - you've just crucified the (now nearly six feet under) passion of true entrepreneurship in the Valley and the rest of the tech hubs across the planet are following suit. Now you're in the envious thick of the geographical innovation scene and can spew phrases in your sleep, your Earth adoring flock will speak like you and make replica start ups - similar to yours, that are collectively and sadly tanking faster than a dead goldfish being flushed down a toilet. Because you talked the talk yet walked the walk in the same path that's already been paved. It's a cyclone of stupidity at the highest level. Am I the only one standing in the eye of the storm seeing this beige abomination take place? I believe so and can place hard cash on that bet. Hard cash meaning chocolate money. The smaller coins, not the big ones.
Parrot Fashion Investors
Also a huge pat on the back, investors! You've just crucified your chances of seeing true entrepreneurs that don't follow these rules because the unusual odd sods out there unhinge and unnerve you. They panic you as they're crazy not to buzz word to oblivion in their pitches, insane to believe they're creating something different, they challenge you and they're categorically nuts in hoping that their idea (never been achieved before) will come off. How dare we be so unique!
Buzz Word Blasphemy Personified
I swear like a truck driver but buzz words within my 10 mile radius are pure blasphemy. The more you use these phrases, the less you are thinking differently. The more you copycat what everyone else says, the less you're focusing on being an original entrepreneur. The more same-culture that's now staggeringly infiltrating the Bay Area, the more I cringe at your lame approach in blatantly disregarding true innovation. Stop being so insecure that your need to fit in is a default assurance of that bubble wrap, safety aura you crave and are naked without. Because true entrepreneurs never naturally fit in (it doesn't even make sense to us) in and we don't care about safe environments. We're memorable, quirky, downright odd, eccentric, passionate, never give up, don't talk the same language and don't give a rooting toot what others think of us. Don't believe a word I'm saying?...
Recently, I was informed that a few VC's were talking about me, referring to me as crazy (how adorable!). I found this interesting as I hadn't talked or seen these cash cows in over five years. Yet, they remembered me. Do they remember the copycat buzz word bounders that pitched them last week and talked their ear off for an hour? Probably not. That speaks volumes about the pitiful lack of colorful people in the Bay Area. The ones that are naturally and absolutely different who stick in peoples minds, these are the ones the VC's need to get back in touch with again. Your guardian angels are whispering this in your ear so listen, learn and do something about it. PS: You're welcome!
Fitting In To Presume Achievement
Stop wearing cycling gear around the streets when you don't have a bike, cease parrot talking to anyone that you believe is an important person because they're wearing an expensive hoodie (the double fleece lined type) and PLEASE stop ramming these buzz words to anyone and sundry, including me...or I'll be forced to hay-maker you a sharp slap with an industrial size bag of flour to knock sense into you. And if you're a Celiac, I'll categorically ensure it's pure wheat flour. You know I'm good for my word.
Parting Paragraph of Common Sense
On a final note: It's called a buzz word for a reason: to replicate bees buzzing and eventually, if you hear enough bees, you can't even hear the buzz of the individual insect. It turns into white noise humming. That's what you all are - a collective body of white noise. Not exactly the epitome of innovation and creativity, correct? If you want to truly make a buzz in the industry, stop cloning speech patterns and start-ups and for the love of G-d, stop trying to fit in. Now fly away....
NB: Any typos, deal with it :)