Saturday, November 19, 2016

Buzz Words Killing Innovation - You're All Parrots!

I was asked to write a blog post about how I abhor Silicon Valley buzz words. I've referenced my vein cringing despise for these 'but everyone's talking about it' phrases in my autobiography, on my blog about unicorns, a CNBC rant about 'go big or go home' and tweeting about this life cringing abomination phrase: thought leadership. (Apologies - I went trigger happy hyperlink binging for a minute). The list is endless and I find it staggeringly claustrophobic. I'm allergic to buzz word phrases: I come out in hives, my chakras start to fade and my major arteries begin to shut down. My hair loses luster, eyelids can barely stay open and I get pins & needles in my left big toe. 100% water proof mascara runs down my face and I'm a wilting flower. I can sniff out buzz word wannabes from an impressive distance and they all smell the same: insignificant.

Hamsters in Wheels, Forever Spinning in Circles

This same person asked me to provide an alternative buzz word to this one in question: corporate innovation. My response,"The irony is staggering. The whole objective of being innovative and creative in this so called Valley hub of geniuses is that you shouldn't:
#1: be using buzz words but be naturally thinking differently
#2: copycat other buzz words to anyone with ears
#3: for the love of G-d, cease the calamity pattern of repetition and insecurity"

Innovation means you are innovative, it's that simple. By the Bay Area's constant recycling of these ridiculous words (until the next lame trend series comes along), they're not being unique in their thought process, speech patterns and reflection of what creativity and entrepreneurship means. They're simply duplicating the hype word of the day, injecting it in any given sentence like crap SEO keyword stuffing. The problem is they need to fit in. If everyone's talking these phrases, they believe they must also jump on the bandwagon and harp it from the bowels of their lungs at every opportunity. Their insecurity dictates they are crying out to mold into the scene and people will know, that they know, that they all harmoniously know the buzz word has reached their mediocre low IQ levels - everyone's talking the same lingo. Aren't you all proud of yourselves for copying the masses?

Get A Grip - (Wo)Man Up!

Course you're not - you come across as a bunch of Northern California parrots. If you were running a variation of Chinese Whispers (aka Telephone game), then at least you'd be reforming phrases differently and using what's inside your skull. But you've failed to do this. Copycats are killing innovation in the Bay Area. Because the same ridiculous, lazy attitude is directly reflecting on the horrifically unimaginative level of start ups being formed. Everyone now thinks they're an entrepreneur. They spout this proudly even when they 'believe' that they thought of a business idea, sat on it, talked about it to a few friends and failed to execute one single objective. These are the same parrots regurgitating buzz words, obsessively frantic to impress.

Fitting in = NOT being a entrepreneur. That's a fact.

Phrase Buzz Kill

These are the same copycats who create replica businesses of proven well funded models, knowing VC's and Angels only take very low risk investments. In their pitches to the public masses, these bounders vomit buzz word faster than the speed of sound and everyone nods in agreement: 'Well if Joe Schmo can say these phrases during their elevator pitch, Joe must be worth funding. Let's take him seriously, throw cash his way and when his start up bottoms out because he's a clueless buffoon, we'll fund his next copycat idea since Joe's on a buzz word roll. And we like that because it's safe, familiar and we're all a flock of cash-deep ready-to-fund sheep.' Well done Joe - you've just crucified the (now nearly six feet under) passion of true entrepreneurship in the Valley and the rest of the tech hubs across the planet are following suit. Now you're in the envious thick of the geographical innovation scene and can spew phrases in your sleep, your Earth adoring flock will speak like you and make replica start ups  - similar to yours, that are collectively and sadly tanking faster than a dead goldfish being flushed down a toilet. Because you talked the talk yet walked the walk in the same path that's already been paved. It's a cyclone of stupidity at the highest level. Am I the only one standing in the eye of the storm seeing this beige abomination take place? I believe so and can place hard cash on that bet. Hard cash meaning chocolate money. The smaller coins, not the big ones.

Parrot Fashion Investors

Also a huge pat on the back, investors! You've just crucified your chances of seeing true entrepreneurs that don't follow these rules because the unusual odd sods out there unhinge and unnerve you. They panic you as they're crazy not to buzz word to oblivion in their pitches, insane to believe they're creating something different, they challenge you and they're categorically nuts in hoping that their idea (never been achieved before) will come off. How dare we be so unique!

Buzz Word Blasphemy Personified

I swear like a truck driver but buzz words within my 10 mile radius are pure blasphemy. The more you use these phrases, the less you are thinking differently. The more you copycat what everyone else says, the less you're focusing on being an original entrepreneur. The more same-culture that's now staggeringly infiltrating the Bay Area, the more I cringe at your lame approach in blatantly disregarding true innovation. Stop being so insecure that your need to fit in is a default assurance of that bubble wrap, safety aura you crave and are naked without. Because true entrepreneurs never naturally fit in (it doesn't even make sense to us) in and we don't care about safe environments. We're memorable, quirky, downright odd, eccentric, passionate, never give up, don't talk the same language and don't give a rooting toot what others think of us. Don't believe a word I'm saying?...

Recently, I was informed that a few VC's were talking about me, referring to me as crazy (how adorable!). I found this interesting as I hadn't talked or seen these cash cows in over five years. Yet, they remembered me. Do they remember the copycat buzz word bounders that pitched them last week and talked their ear off for an hour? Probably not. That speaks volumes about the pitiful lack of colorful people in the Bay Area. The ones that are naturally and absolutely different who stick in peoples minds, these are the ones the VC's need to get back in touch with again. Your guardian angels are whispering this in your ear so listen, learn and do something about it. PS: You're welcome!

Fitting In To Presume Achievement

Stop wearing cycling gear around the streets when you don't have a bike, cease parrot talking to anyone that you believe is an important person because they're wearing an expensive hoodie (the double fleece lined type) and PLEASE stop ramming these buzz words to anyone and sundry, including me...or I'll be forced to hay-maker you a sharp slap with an industrial size bag of flour to knock sense into you. And if you're a Celiac, I'll categorically ensure it's pure wheat flour. You know I'm good for my word.

Parting Paragraph of Common Sense

On a final note: It's called a buzz word for a reason: to replicate bees buzzing and eventually, if you hear enough bees, you can't even hear the buzz of the individual insect. It turns into white noise humming. That's what you all are - a collective body of white noise. Not exactly the epitome of innovation and creativity, correct? If you want to truly make a buzz in the industry, stop cloning speech patterns and start-ups and for the love of G-d, stop trying to fit in. Now fly away....

NB: Any typos, deal with it :)

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Why I'm Not Shocked About Trump: He Rallied for Business

Yesterday was riveting, watching CNN and every other major network balk at the voting results coming in (aside Fox). For months they'd lacked journalist ethics in reporting the news - they focused on Trump bashing, bias opinions and were a disgrace to their profession. They ridiculed him, belittled him, he had very little GOP you'd think Trump would be cornered and bolt?

Sheer Trump Grafting

Nope - he went out on the trails with a few good solid people and did serious old school street team campaigning, speaking to the people about what issues affected their specific area. He'd done his research and didn't promote the same 'fluff' generic speech that Hillary did. He treat every geographical area as if he was pitching for their business and had learned about what their most pressing problems were. These were his potential customers and he knew everything about them, so he could sell them what he had to offer. This was a critical strategy that Clinton failed on - knowing her target market, demographic and what makes them tick. Even down to his last Michigan speech on Monday evening - he nailed the core local issues, voiced rational solutions and people resonated.

With everything against him, he still prevailed as he grunt worked his way through the country, focusing on the people's core (and home town) concerns and creating quite decent policy plans.

Standard Dirty Politics

Simultaneously, Hillary was focusing on poll rigging, inciting violence at Trump's rallies and 'surface' talking - spouting the typical spiel that dirty politicians do best, assuming the path of least resistance gets them the White House. She didn't even visit the states that were already supporting her. Every business person knows that even if you have the deal in the bag, you still schmooze these clients. She failed to do that. Kaine's singular Spanish speech was again, fluff and a lame attempt to attract Hispanics. Because the Dems thought they had it locked up. So they rode on the Clinton/Obama name. They refused to see what people really wanted - change. They failed to see how to execute this because they didn't know their target market and ignored their current supporters. They were blinkered in political bollocks so attention zoned on dragging the naive media along with them - who lapped up the Clinton hype and revered to barraging at Trump. The more the media lapped up Clinton, the more they slammed Trump because that's what sells the news - whether the news was correct or not (always irrelevant in the headline department).

Trump Talking In Real Time 

And all the while this was happening, Trump updated on social media when a real time issue arose - Clinton didn't even acknowledge these. While Trump posted out the despicable stabbings in Israel by Arabs, Clinton posted (same day) more surface status updates about her me, me, me attitude. That was the difference. She was stuck in a political time warp and the public saw through it. Being politically correct is one thing but being blinkered in even addressing timely issues was a massive fail. Clinton could never post an update condemning the Arab stabbings since she's so knee deep in bed with the same people that fund her bank account, she's suffocating from diplomacy constraints. How could she run a country when her bank balance is determining her next move? And here lies the problem - she's living in an alter state where she has no idea how real people operate unless it's based on a you-scratch-my-back barter D.C. deal-making. Which then gets her even deeper into making less informed, good decisions as she's fully controlled by purse strings. If she's constrained herself to suffocation already, how can she even shift the American needle?

Fresh Perspective

So I started to read the media coverage with different eyes - and obviously others did also. The more Clinton bought in celebrities to rally for her, I wondered why she needed this extreme hyped support of a mini Coachella. Her policies should have been the celebrity title holders - not the people endorsing her. Why was the President taking time away from running the country to spend millions of tax dollars in speaking at her rallies? Why was HE obsessively involved and why couldn't SHE handle her own workload campaigning without him? Safety in numbers was her plan and every Clinton supporter fell for it. I didn't want a Lollapalooza, I wanted to know what she was going to do about the economy, foreign policy, healthcare and immigration. Trump didn't need a fanfare - he was too busy using every moment at every rally to talk...and be heard. The more a concert is entertaining people, the less air time the candidate has to talk. Trump wanted to use every second to get across his points. He didn't need an orchestra to side track him from precious minutes.

Corrupt Clinton

When a candidate has five prominent team mates that are under FBI investigation, the Clinton Foundation is being investigated and she doesn't have huge positive spikes in her 30 year made the Madame President title less appealing to me. By the time of the recent email re-investigation, I decided who I was voting for. I'd been on the fence until then. The 'loose cannon' was actually turning into the sure bet.

My Deciding Vote

I didn't like Trump in the debates, I didn't care he talked locker room chat (no evidence he executed these actions), I wasn't concerned he had four bankruptcies since he had 500+ successful businesses under his belt. You try turning a $1m loan into $10b - it's not so easy. I applaud anyone who has such a great accountant they can use the law to avoid paying taxes - I'm sure everyone wants to hire these people. I congratulate someone on using the law correctly when it comes to filing bankruptcy. If he knows and has utilised the loopholes - he knows how to fix them. The people who balked over how he spoke about women 10 years ago were also fine with Clinton having Jay-Z reiterate the same derogatory words about women in her rally. At the time of Trump's video leak, he wasn't running for president. Neither was Jay-Z last week so that topic is moot. People change year on year - 10 years is a long time for attitude changing evolution. If Trump was such a loose cannon, how did his kids come out so amazing well? Every single one of them. With four adult kids, you'd think maybe one or two would veer off track in life, but they hadn't.

So on 30th October, I cast my ballot for him based on these factors, in no particular order.

  • I want Israel to be able to breathe again and have true support - Trump has their back. Israel is every Jew's insurance policy. 
  • I want a country run like a business by a person who has a proven record.
  • I want a president that has an A-list team based on merit, not ones being indicted.
  • I want someone to quit the political crap and speak like a human, even with the mumblings and topic-switching (I speak like this, I understand it. It's not a lack of focus, it's a strong brain that can multi task and intentionally unhinge the opposition).
  • I want someone who has a solid family with great credentials in their own right.
  • I worked incredibly hard for my work visa, Green Card and Citizenship - it's a privilege and not something that anyone could pick up, like milk on a doorstep c.1980 or dire open borders.
  • I want healthcare to change as it's proven to be a disaster beyond proportions.
  • I want America to be the economic pioneer and not pimp to cheaper outside options.
  • I am absolutely sick of political crap and want D.C. to change, lead and quit the back-scratching abysmal egos so they are productive and actually do their job.
  • I don't care that the GOP is anti-abortion and un LGBT friendly as Trump is never going to let history lapse in this regard and revert back to homophobia or forcing women to continue a pregnancy term. What we have now regarding these laws will remain in positive effect. He's made it clear that it's a non issue. If it was even quarter up his agenda, I may not have voted for him.

Eyes Wide Open

What Trump achieved last night was not a surprise to me. And anyone who is reeling today, obviously had been sucked into the appalling media bias. They were too busy focusing on bashing him based on copycat of the media frenzy (and bigging up Clinton) to actually know his policies. Not ONE single Clinton supporter I spoke to knew his policies, even though they were blazoned online and reiterated multiple times in his speeches. I researched this because I wanted to know who I was voting in for. I needed facts to make an informed decision. I only work with the facts and couldn't find it on mainstream media.

And if any of these policies have tweaks as time goes by, that means a: He's running the country like a business and knows to pivot or amend to accommodate change (I'm fine with that) and b: He's taking advice from the team he respects, which is what any great leader should do as default.

Shame on the media for the unprofessional bias and I feel for everyone who is shocked. But if you're going to vote, at least focus on what the opponents are proposing and know their policies before making a decision. Do your groundwork and then make an informed vote. The ones who are floored were so infatuated with her, they simply didn't do their homework on him and his policies. They couldn't see past the media baloney.

Clinton dug her own politically corrupt grave over the past 30 years and she got what she deserved. She'll be licking her wounds and maybe one day realize that what she's achieved over three decades was nothing more than back-scratching, forever spinning circles. Trump will axe that scratch pattern.

NB: Any typos or grammatical errors - get over yourselves. I'm not a student and you're not my English teacher. Put that in your pipe and smoke it - which you can now in California thanks to yesterday's marijuana verdict.

On a brighter and absolutely unrelated note, here's a picture of Muppet - from 10 years ago. Oh, and look how she's also evolved in that time :)