The Year of (201)6 Feet Under
Adding insult to injury, not one famous figurehead had a chance to claim headline news glory before you slammed another deceased whammy our way. That just wasn't fair. Every time we opened the advent calendar of dates, instead of chocolate there was another well known person behind the flap. Also no one's getting decent, justified, respectful airtime in global mourning column inches - did you not consider that? Before we've shock horror'ed ourselves from the news of one, another pops their clogs.
A note to 2017: Heed...really, seriously heed
And don't look 2016 in the eye - not one bit. Or we'll all turn to stone come 00.01am on the 1st.
My sister said that Madonna must be shitting herself. My friend Penny is terrified for Bruce Forsyth. I'm personally more worried about the Queen's corgis. Their legs are too short, it really bothers me.
A Cracking Solution