Monday, May 8, 2017

Getting Déjà vu's About Déjà vu's

I've had dreams all my life. I wake up and go back to sleep, average three times a night and each comes with a dream. Sometimes I play around with them, lucid dreaming the 1st and 3rd or 2nd and 3rd. I'm good at mixing these up. When I saw the movie Inception years ago, my friends were really confused. I wasn't - I thought everyone had dreams like that. Since I had a captive audience, I spent more time explaining the film than the duration of the movie. I've never had a SINGLE sleep without a dream. Some of my dreams have resulted with incredible inventions for my business, Olympic opening ceremonies (it's a beauty, one day I'll contact the committee and pitch it) and direct messages of my future. It's exhausting - I never get a night off.

It's been 46 years of also having déjà vu's but now it's getting stronger - a few times a day, every day. I'm knackered! So I decided to research more about déjà vu and spiritual meanings. My life's been too bizarre and I need all the assurance I can get. After speed-researching and slicing through twaddle forums (the illiterate tripe out there is staggering), I found two profound spiritual explanations:

1: The more déjà vu's the individual has, the more it's a message that they're absolutely on track. I find this odd. The past 15 years have been more turbulent than a full cabin (commercial airline) releasing excessive, panic ridden baked bean wind during unnaturally high levels of turbulence.

2: It's a sign that since we pre-paved our own life path before birth, we place obstacles in our way to see how our soul's react, learn and grow*.  The déjà vu is a checkpoint and we can pause to rewind, fix and then carry on, even if it's a death's door situation. So in reality, this specific web page explanation is that we're controlling our own personal TiVo (sorry - modernize it Cundle: DVR).

Now I absolutely believe that we're pre-programmed and that I've created my full life. I'm just living one part of it currently. What these two web theories are stating is that I actually want to piss myself off through this life, as a twisted little joke and I'm constantly testing myself to the extreme. I'm pre-program pushing my own buttons until I experience levels of emotional-chemotherapy (not stating that phrase all). And the déjà vu's are nudges that the original twisted me knows that I know, that she knows that I'm now writing this and the other shoe's dropped with a few clues I've given myself (Paycheck movie style).

Why the hell would I do this to myself? I've got to consider that maybe I was a bit drunk when I created me, along with a full series of reincarnated me's over the past G-d knows how many centuries. Maybe I put myself up to a bet, or a previous few of me thought they'd make my current life for their TV viewing. In the next life, they've pre-programmed me to fix it. So in my autobiography ongoing series (Living off the Irony), the book title is now more staggeringly apt than before. The irony being that numero uno me created this current mayhem. I also wrote an excerpt in one of the series (maybe volume 4) that if I had a dinner party and could invite anyone living or dead, I'd invite a few past me's along with a few future me's.

Now I'm not too sure I want to meet them. They'll probably force me to make dinner, knowing three microwaves have exploded under my sole supervision. Every time I grab a glass of whisky, the bottom will fall out. I'll sit on a chair, and the legs will collapse. Tonight, I need one of my dreams to be a good, long talk with the original me and tell her to get her act together. My life's depending on it or more fool the next me. I'll make sure she's slammed sideways in retribution and comes back as a goldfish with a bowel deficiency so her poo is forever stuck to her bum. She'll have a lifespan of two weeks, in a cloudy bowl above a clogged up toilet - the seat up, ready for her to leap.

* Even if these include horrific experiences.

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