Tuesday, December 27, 2016

2016: The Advent Calendar of Deaths

2016, you have totally surpassed yourself in unfiltered, blatant animosity. You should be renamed:

The Year of (201)6 Feet Under

Adding insult to injury, not one famous figurehead had a chance to claim headline news glory before you slammed another deceased whammy our way. That just wasn't fair. Every time we opened the advent calendar of dates, instead of chocolate there was another well known person behind the flap. Also no one's getting decent, justified, respectful airtime in global mourning column inches - did you not consider that? Before we've shock horror'ed ourselves from the news of one, another pops their clogs.

A note to 2017: Heed...really, seriously heed

2016 was a Grinch beyond proportions and it will try encourage you to think bad thoughts. Don't fall for it. It'll send you flowers, whiskey, thermally insulated slippers, fancy umbrellas, proper smoked salmon with capers and a brand new wardrobe so it can wrap you round its little finger. Send everything back - actually, burn them instead to be on the safe side. Wrap yourself (and us) in sage and smudge us through the next 365 days from the second you kick in. Put red paint on the doorposts of every iconic celebs front door and protect them, biblical style. We know that method works, it's proven and it's a solid solution.

And don't look 2016 in the eye - not one bit. Or we'll all turn to stone come 00.01am on the 1st.

My sister said that Madonna must be shitting herself. My friend Penny is terrified for Bruce Forsyth. I'm personally more worried about the Queen's corgis. Their legs are too short, it really bothers me.

A Cracking Solution

I think that every time an icon dies, we should all have a shot of vodka. Then we'll spend the next year hammered or hungover and it'll dull the pain of famous passings. Then again, we were all just a bunch of assholes at one time. And if you don't believe me, read that link. It's riveting, gripping stuff.

Friday, December 16, 2016

Hillary Clinton - Get A Backbone

And I'm now more assured I made the right choice in voting for Donald Trump.

This is what I think of her...in abundance! 

For someone who claimed that 'when they go low, we go high,' Hillary has a serious personality flaw in eating her own words. Expensive words that cost over $1b in her over-inflated (highest priced) campaign in presidential history.

Blaming For Blaming Media Publicity Whoring Inches Sake

She's blamed the media - for what?
For creating bias news throughout the whole campaign in her favor yet then losing the election because of a crap, directionless stint while employing 'yes' people who bowed to her every command while she refused to listen to the American people (and too right - that's one sentence with intentionally little punctuation and no pause for her to respond).

She's blamed Putin - for what?
For ranting about him in every debate believing she knows him inside out, yet failing to operate any decent spike levels in foreign policy during her past four years...while causing more damage with Benghazi, ISIS, putting Israel in jeopardy through a horrific shambles of a s**t Iran deal and the list could continue through to 2018 + beyond. She had four plus years to schmooze with Putin - and she failed. I place hard cash neither will be exchanging Christmas cards this year.

She's blamed the American public - for what?
For not voting for her when she assumed she had the presidency in the bag, while calling the public deplorable. Name calling doesn't get you votes Mrs C. It calls you a bully and everyone knows bullies are cowards.That's a fact. Add it to your LinkedIn if you want to start resume-honesty as your 2017 resolution.

She's blamed her own team - for what?
For a very few of them now publicly (quoted) stating she refused to listen to them, refusing to visit the swing states she ignored, refusing to visit the sure bet states she decided weren't worthy of her nailing the vote-coffin-in-the-bag. Yet running a celebrity fanfare during her tours to distract from having zero new initiatives to bring to the country....or the people who were screaming for change in security, healthcare, employment etc. And maybe the campaign staff are now name calling because they want their own publicity or hunting for their next job. Either way, she created a team of people that she absolutely guided into training that it is OK for them to deny responsibility ownership. Way to go Teacher Clinton. Your newly newspaper column inch craving staff all get A+'s.

And to those campaign employee 'whistle-blowers' - why the hell would anyone now employ you? You can't keep your mouths shut so if you can't keep schtum for Clinton, why would any potential employer want you? Did you not read the last page of the manual that says 'zip it' if asked for post-campaign related media comments?

She's blamed the FBI - for what? 
Reopening an already corrupt investigation against her and her years of running the gauntlet without an inch of focus on national security. It's standard practice that everything online can be leaked. Non Clinton obsessives saw through this way, way, way before the finale FBI re-surge days before big voting day. Is she such a technologically incompetent buffoon that she thought the 'I didn't know I deleted them, oops' attitude would surely get her off the FBI watch list or they'd hold them back until she was then defeated. Imagine: Trump trumping her and THEN being immediately FBI investigated - what an end to 2016 that would have been. Or her winning and THEN investigated - talk about setting a great example for future female presidents.

She's blamed Trump - for what?
For him focusing on people, localisation of speeches and winning the country's business - one voter at a time at a fraction of the campaign costs versus hers. Hillary - never ever assume the opponent is an idiot but always assume you are not a winner until you are handed the medal and keys to the Blanc House.

She's blamed her staged photo calls - for what?
For pulling a stupid stint by grabbing PR's in forests to have selfies, days after the election with zero security detail around her, looking fresh as a daisy and just so happened to bump into these women. Give me a break! Hillary, your whole life is one stage and the intelligent ones aren't buying tickets to your s**t-show. The theater has closed, the tip up chairs have been covered in blankets and the lights are now out permanently. There's new show in town and it's called 'change.'

Man Up Clinton - Fast

Hillary Clinton needs to grow a backbone, take responsibility for her actions and find her spine. The latter is probably hidden deep within the corrupt back-scratching she's initiated perpetually for 30 years. How any surgeon can find it again will be a medical miracle and potentially be claimed as one of the best operations in the past century. She may need reconstructive surgery or possibly a transplant before she can walk again....and then learn to hobble with an inch of dignity, using a walker with those tennis ball footers required for stability.

Hillary & Obama: Take Ownership & Stop Inciting To Split The Country

Hillary, stop blaming everyone for your MOFO screw ups. You were team leader, you were the boss and every boss must take accountability. Stop antagonizing & inciting the country by trying to dig, chip and divide it with your Demo wannabes, your millions of $$ from your irritating 'demand a recount' BFF (until the next BFF rears their head in a few weeks). And how did that work out for you? Not as fun as you thought since you've now lost even more votes and look stupid...stupid I say.

You & Obama should have....weeks ago....guided the country through repetitive speeches to assure the American public that the presidential elect win is FINAL. You both should have easily avoided plummeting to tabloid levels instead of slandering Trump to divide the country further than it already is. You both should have made it a final end-of-topic with a slam dunk statement, similar to this (improvise if you want yet I believe this covers all bases):

"I, collagen Clinton, state that Donald Trump will be President so all the fans that I duped, you need to get over it and deal with it because I now have no choice but to support him. Let's root for Trump and I'll man up. There will be no more blaming, shaming, name calling, snide comments from myself, Obama, Michelle or my minimum-wage campaign team. All whiny university brats that wanted a crying excuse out their mid-terms, get back to school and grow a pair. Not everyone's a winner.

On a positive note, I, in the meantime, will spend Xmas trying to shift that extra weight from my hips that I've obviously neglected to do for years, in preparation of my revolutionary spinal op."

Move On With Your Life - You're Just Adding Failure To Failure

Clinton:- Not only were you a disgrace during the campaign but you've now lost all credibility from whoring for media attention. This is sheer proof that your last 30 years resulted in you learning nothing about liability and not being the person that your voters wanted you to be. And more importantly, you just validated to every Trump voter that they made the right choice. Because who wants a winging, whining brat in the White House? Who wants a woman that is supported by the current first lady that puts 'hope' dissolution seeds in the public's minds and again, incites through sideline comments? Who wants a leader that cries & screams when she doesn't get her way, because if she was Madame President, then every deal that fell flat (most all I suspect based on your history) would absolutely guarantee she'd be the forever, official national spokesperson for Kleenex.

Shame on you Hillary, with your severely warped, childish and immature attitude. You didn't win - so support the one who did...and the country you're now just a civilian in. Yes, you're now just an average woman who was once a first lady. Move on, grow up and get a freaking grip. Oh, and start writing that new memoir, which I'm sure you've already got publishers giving you $$$ advances for already. Because your need to be forever in the spotlight through a life of deceit is more important than you being a decent citizen.You have conditioned yourself through the past three decades that it's obviously alien for you to be honest. Please cease the daily 'war room' meetings of Next Week's Fabricated Campaign' strategy. We've had enough of it.

A Final Look In The Seven Year Smashed Mirror

Hillary, without the constant obsession for media attention, who are you? Probably just a normal person now having no choice but to live a normal life with $250m of rigged cash in your marital bank account. How tragic that you may consider 'normal' as Plan B. Maybe you'll learn something:

Honesty and taking ownership are the best policy - have a go. 
It'll sting a bit at first but you'll finally get the hang of it. 

PS: Typos? Deal with it.

Monday, December 12, 2016

Meeting the Green Prince - Son of Hamas

Last night, I attended the Congregation Emanu-El shule (synagogue) for a screening of The Green Prince and a Q&A with Mosab Hassan Yousef. I'd read his book, Son of Hamas, a couple of years ago and found it riveting. As a huge fan of conspiracy theories and thrillers, I was absorbed with the extreme life this young man led for 10 years - as a traitor to the Arabs (the word Palestinian doesn't exist) in the West Bank, getting paid simultaneously by Shin Bet, the Palestinian Authorities, the US and Hamas while undercover to help Israelis from ongoing Hamas terrorism. The inner conflicts of what he experienced and consciously put himself through, well, it was on staggering levels.

Watching The Green Prince documentary bought back everything I'd remembered from the book - a decade of danger while he bounced between prison (approximately 27 months collective duration during this time), to the West Bank, Israel and finally fleeing to the US under the asylum umbrella disguised as a jaw surgery operation.

Not So Large As Life

Assuming every well known figurehead is larger than life (my average expectation is around 6'5") but seeing this near 5'6" slight build, petite individual on stage, I realized that height has absolutely no relevance to brain capacity - yet I was still shocked. This was a guy with cheek jowls and a solid 15lbs heavier in his early years (and in the movie). Now seeing him up close, the guy's face has experienced a further 10 years of extreme stress, gravity pulling results that made me feel he's sinking and shrinking into a puddle, vanishing until he's a blip.

Disappointing Responses

During the Q&A, I asked if he knew the percentage ratio of Arabs that are brainwashed by Hamas (and Pallywood media lies) versus the Arabs that I've seen on TV who are trying to fight back & want Israeli levels of freedom - but fear they will be persecuted for being traitors. I wanted to know ratios, facts, what increase of Arabs are sick & tired of the lies and are doing something about it for a new, positive movement forward. I needed data!

Following the same pattern of all audience questions, he fluffed with vague unscripted answers, reverting back to an angle focused on his own sense of self and true inner peace, reinforcing (to himself?) he now knows who he is. As an A-type eccentric, with a personality that demands I naturally dig deep into interrogation as my default, I was disappointed in the Q&A. I left the shule and bumped into a woman who had also attended. She liked my question and we thrashed the issues. She was right in her findings: Here lies a guy who was disowned by his family and religion, left to rot by Shin Bet and was now a global wanderer with little money, self confessed no home nor health insurance, no wife or children and branded as a traitor, shamed by his own people. He'd sold himself to the media by way of his book and movie, receiving glowing awards and reviews yet also under 'fact' suspicion by authorities.

The Push Me Pull You Factor

Mosab was now glued to his book & movie like a bad hip replacement. He was obviously aware of the risks he took in taking this media path, the death treats etc, yet simultaneously hoping to be compensated with the assurance of huge cash royalties so he could live the rest of his life as a monk. It was a fine line and dangerous risk that didn't pay off as expected.

I stated to her "I'm going to go back inside to tell him that he can't be on stage, reciting a great speech and then giving us fluff, lame answers to our questions. He needs to sever ties. Mosab must break free from the ongoing book & movie tour or he'll never move on with his life. The man needs to get a reality grip!" She told me that my strategy would bomb and wisely suggested I try a more sugar coated tactic. I can't sugar coat, never have and never will. But I decided I'd lay off so much vinegar in my rebuttal. I'm glad I met her - she could be my future, forever translator.

So I stuck to my guns and stomped back into the shule. Mosab was talking with a few VIP organizers and I impatiently waited until my time came. A woman told me I should wear lipstick, she said I had a great shaped mouth. I told her she has lipstick on her chin yet since she was pretty, no one would inform her and she needed to know more honest people like me. Wiping her chin, she asked if I was married. I confirmed I was happier by myself and relationships always made me feel claustrophobic. She said Mosab was also single and maybe... 

I shut the rest of her sentence dead. I weaved my way to the man in question:

"Mosab, why are you reliving the movie repeatedly through appearances and bringing up horrific memories, when it's obvious this is a conflict and makes it harder to move on with your life?"

He explained that he very rarely promotes the movie and can separate his new life from his past after the event is over. Finally, he confirmed he attended this evening's event because he needs the cash. A simple statement. I stared him right in the eye during his answer and towards the end, he broke the contact by looking away. I don't understand how 'eyes are the windows to the soul' concept - I look for facial expressions yet I found none in him. His mannerisms and speech were like a machine.

I surprised Mosab by giving him a hug and whispering to him that he's amazing & important. And he must always remember that. He felt cold, small and shell-like barren. The white light energy he expressed on stage was absolutely not in his body yet there was a minuscule percentage of peace. Most importantly, he felt separate, disconnected and his protective shield was unbreakable. This was a guy desperately trying to find his white light and striving hard to achieve it but the barriers had locked him in. I wanted to wrap him up, take him home and spoon feed him soup until the bowl of defibrillator jolted him back to life. He had a chronic case of reverse Locked In Syndrome.

Making Your Own Responsible Bed

His choice driven nightmare reminded me of Edward Snowden: both selling themselves out for believing they did the right thing and then living a life of backlash. Both made choices, both will forever live the consequences and both confirm they've absolutely taken responsibility for their actions. The difference is that Snowden has a powerful team in the background, supporting him through intelligence and heavy security. Mosab has no one. He trusts not a sole aside his ex Shin Bet handler (Gonen Ben-Itzhak) whom he confirmed they speak weekly on the phone. He most likely will never trust again. Shin Bet can't support him as it will disclose critical information that could put Israel at risk, and he's a wanted man by Hamas. He's isolated and walking the Earth, one prayer and meditation at a time.

Entertain The Ignorant

After the movie ended and before I returned to talk to Mosab, I asked a guy sat next to me what he thought about the film and if he'd read the book. He said he'd never read the book and felt the movie was boring. He stated that there was no action, not enough visuals and too much talking. I reminded him that it wasn't designed to be a blockbuster Dwayne Johnson movie. I explained there were obvious video footage restrictions, red tape & censorship issues - hence the lack of 'action' - and maybe he should stop presuming that not everyone on this planet's sole purpose is to entertain him.

The Lost Tragic Soul

Mosab is now wandering once again and has no home nor stability, trying to keep his head above water and hoping & believing that his inner light will guide the way. I pray that guide leads to a magical door that truly gives him the peace he's working towards.

Because from what I saw last night, he deserves it more than anyone I've ever met.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Buzz Words Killing Innovation - You're All Parrots!

I was asked to write a blog post about how I abhor Silicon Valley buzz words. I've referenced my vein cringing despise for these 'but everyone's talking about it' phrases in my autobiography, on my blog about unicorns, a CNBC rant about 'go big or go home' and tweeting about this life cringing abomination phrase: thought leadership. (Apologies - I went trigger happy hyperlink binging for a minute). The list is endless and I find it staggeringly claustrophobic. I'm allergic to buzz word phrases: I come out in hives, my chakras start to fade and my major arteries begin to shut down. My hair loses luster, eyelids can barely stay open and I get pins & needles in my left big toe. 100% water proof mascara runs down my face and I'm a wilting flower. I can sniff out buzz word wannabes from an impressive distance and they all smell the same: insignificant.

Hamsters in Wheels, Forever Spinning in Circles

This same person asked me to provide an alternative buzz word to this one in question: corporate innovation. My response,"The irony is staggering. The whole objective of being innovative and creative in this so called Valley hub of geniuses is that you shouldn't:
#1: be using buzz words but be naturally thinking differently
#2: copycat other buzz words to anyone with ears
#3: for the love of G-d, cease the calamity pattern of repetition and insecurity"

Innovation means you are innovative, it's that simple. By the Bay Area's constant recycling of these ridiculous words (until the next lame trend series comes along), they're not being unique in their thought process, speech patterns and reflection of what creativity and entrepreneurship means. They're simply duplicating the hype word of the day, injecting it in any given sentence like crap SEO keyword stuffing. The problem is they need to fit in. If everyone's talking these phrases, they believe they must also jump on the bandwagon and harp it from the bowels of their lungs at every opportunity. Their insecurity dictates they are crying out to mold into the scene and people will know, that they know, that they all harmoniously know the buzz word has reached their mediocre low IQ levels - everyone's talking the same lingo. Aren't you all proud of yourselves for copying the masses?

Get A Grip - (Wo)Man Up!

Course you're not - you come across as a bunch of Northern California parrots. If you were running a variation of Chinese Whispers (aka Telephone game), then at least you'd be reforming phrases differently and using what's inside your skull. But you've failed to do this. Copycats are killing innovation in the Bay Area. Because the same ridiculous, lazy attitude is directly reflecting on the horrifically unimaginative level of start ups being formed. Everyone now thinks they're an entrepreneur. They spout this proudly even when they 'believe' that they thought of a business idea, sat on it, talked about it to a few friends and failed to execute one single objective. These are the same parrots regurgitating buzz words, obsessively frantic to impress.

Fitting in = NOT being a entrepreneur. That's a fact.

Phrase Buzz Kill

These are the same copycats who create replica businesses of proven well funded models, knowing VC's and Angels only take very low risk investments. In their pitches to the public masses, these bounders vomit buzz word faster than the speed of sound and everyone nods in agreement: 'Well if Joe Schmo can say these phrases during their elevator pitch, Joe must be worth funding. Let's take him seriously, throw cash his way and when his start up bottoms out because he's a clueless buffoon, we'll fund his next copycat idea since Joe's on a buzz word roll. And we like that because it's safe, familiar and we're all a flock of cash-deep ready-to-fund sheep.' Well done Joe - you've just crucified the (now nearly six feet under) passion of true entrepreneurship in the Valley and the rest of the tech hubs across the planet are following suit. Now you're in the envious thick of the geographical innovation scene and can spew phrases in your sleep, your Earth adoring flock will speak like you and make replica start ups  - similar to yours, that are collectively and sadly tanking faster than a dead goldfish being flushed down a toilet. Because you talked the talk yet walked the walk in the same path that's already been paved. It's a cyclone of stupidity at the highest level. Am I the only one standing in the eye of the storm seeing this beige abomination take place? I believe so and can place hard cash on that bet. Hard cash meaning chocolate money. The smaller coins, not the big ones.

Parrot Fashion Investors

Also a huge pat on the back, investors! You've just crucified your chances of seeing true entrepreneurs that don't follow these rules because the unusual odd sods out there unhinge and unnerve you. They panic you as they're crazy not to buzz word to oblivion in their pitches, insane to believe they're creating something different, they challenge you and they're categorically nuts in hoping that their idea (never been achieved before) will come off. How dare we be so unique!

Buzz Word Blasphemy Personified

I swear like a truck driver but buzz words within my 10 mile radius are pure blasphemy. The more you use these phrases, the less you are thinking differently. The more you copycat what everyone else says, the less you're focusing on being an original entrepreneur. The more same-culture that's now staggeringly infiltrating the Bay Area, the more I cringe at your lame approach in blatantly disregarding true innovation. Stop being so insecure that your need to fit in is a default assurance of that bubble wrap, safety aura you crave and are naked without. Because true entrepreneurs never naturally fit in (it doesn't even make sense to us) in and we don't care about safe environments. We're memorable, quirky, downright odd, eccentric, passionate, never give up, don't talk the same language and don't give a rooting toot what others think of us. Don't believe a word I'm saying?...

Recently, I was informed that a few VC's were talking about me, referring to me as crazy (how adorable!). I found this interesting as I hadn't talked or seen these cash cows in over five years. Yet, they remembered me. Do they remember the copycat buzz word bounders that pitched them last week and talked their ear off for an hour? Probably not. That speaks volumes about the pitiful lack of colorful people in the Bay Area. The ones that are naturally and absolutely different who stick in peoples minds, these are the ones the VC's need to get back in touch with again. Your guardian angels are whispering this in your ear so listen, learn and do something about it. PS: You're welcome!

Fitting In To Presume Achievement

Stop wearing cycling gear around the streets when you don't have a bike, cease parrot talking to anyone that you believe is an important person because they're wearing an expensive hoodie (the double fleece lined type) and PLEASE stop ramming these buzz words to anyone and sundry, including me...or I'll be forced to hay-maker you a sharp slap with an industrial size bag of flour to knock sense into you. And if you're a Celiac, I'll categorically ensure it's pure wheat flour. You know I'm good for my word.

Parting Paragraph of Common Sense

On a final note: It's called a buzz word for a reason: to replicate bees buzzing and eventually, if you hear enough bees, you can't even hear the buzz of the individual insect. It turns into white noise humming. That's what you all are - a collective body of white noise. Not exactly the epitome of innovation and creativity, correct? If you want to truly make a buzz in the industry, stop cloning speech patterns and start-ups and for the love of G-d, stop trying to fit in. Now fly away....

NB: Any typos, deal with it :)

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Why I'm Not Shocked About Trump: He Rallied for Business

Yesterday was riveting, watching CNN and every other major network balk at the voting results coming in (aside Fox). For months they'd lacked journalist ethics in reporting the news - they focused on Trump bashing, bias opinions and were a disgrace to their profession. They ridiculed him, belittled him, he had very little GOP support...so you'd think Trump would be cornered and bolt?

Sheer Trump Grafting

Nope - he went out on the trails with a few good solid people and did serious old school street team campaigning, speaking to the people about what issues affected their specific area. He'd done his research and didn't promote the same 'fluff' generic speech that Hillary did. He treat every geographical area as if he was pitching for their business and had learned about what their most pressing problems were. These were his potential customers and he knew everything about them, so he could sell them what he had to offer. This was a critical strategy that Clinton failed on - knowing her target market, demographic and what makes them tick. Even down to his last Michigan speech on Monday evening - he nailed the core local issues, voiced rational solutions and people resonated.

With everything against him, he still prevailed as he grunt worked his way through the country, focusing on the people's core (and home town) concerns and creating quite decent policy plans.

Standard Dirty Politics

Simultaneously, Hillary was focusing on poll rigging, inciting violence at Trump's rallies and 'surface' talking - spouting the typical spiel that dirty politicians do best, assuming the path of least resistance gets them the White House. She didn't even visit the states that were already supporting her. Every business person knows that even if you have the deal in the bag, you still schmooze these clients. She failed to do that. Kaine's singular Spanish speech was again, fluff and a lame attempt to attract Hispanics. Because the Dems thought they had it locked up. So they rode on the Clinton/Obama name. They refused to see what people really wanted - change. They failed to see how to execute this because they didn't know their target market and ignored their current supporters. They were blinkered in political bollocks so attention zoned on dragging the naive media along with them - who lapped up the Clinton hype and revered to barraging at Trump. The more the media lapped up Clinton, the more they slammed Trump because that's what sells the news - whether the news was correct or not (always irrelevant in the headline department).

Trump Talking In Real Time 

And all the while this was happening, Trump updated on social media when a real time issue arose - Clinton didn't even acknowledge these. While Trump posted out the despicable stabbings in Israel by Arabs, Clinton posted (same day) more surface status updates about her me, me, me attitude. That was the difference. She was stuck in a political time warp and the public saw through it. Being politically correct is one thing but being blinkered in even addressing timely issues was a massive fail. Clinton could never post an update condemning the Arab stabbings since she's so knee deep in bed with the same people that fund her bank account, she's suffocating from diplomacy constraints. How could she run a country when her bank balance is determining her next move? And here lies the problem - she's living in an alter state where she has no idea how real people operate unless it's based on a you-scratch-my-back barter D.C. deal-making. Which then gets her even deeper into making less informed, good decisions as she's fully controlled by purse strings. If she's constrained herself to suffocation already, how can she even shift the American needle?

Fresh Perspective

So I started to read the media coverage with different eyes - and obviously others did also. The more Clinton bought in celebrities to rally for her, I wondered why she needed this extreme hyped support of a mini Coachella. Her policies should have been the celebrity title holders - not the people endorsing her. Why was the President taking time away from running the country to spend millions of tax dollars in speaking at her rallies? Why was HE obsessively involved and why couldn't SHE handle her own workload campaigning without him? Safety in numbers was her plan and every Clinton supporter fell for it. I didn't want a Lollapalooza, I wanted to know what she was going to do about the economy, foreign policy, healthcare and immigration. Trump didn't need a fanfare - he was too busy using every moment at every rally to talk...and be heard. The more a concert is entertaining people, the less air time the candidate has to talk. Trump wanted to use every second to get across his points. He didn't need an orchestra to side track him from precious minutes.

Corrupt Clinton

When a candidate has five prominent team mates that are under FBI investigation, the Clinton Foundation is being investigated and she doesn't have huge positive spikes in her 30 year history...it made the Madame President title less appealing to me. By the time of the recent email re-investigation, I decided who I was voting for. I'd been on the fence until then. The 'loose cannon' was actually turning into the sure bet.

My Deciding Vote

I didn't like Trump in the debates, I didn't care he talked locker room chat (no evidence he executed these actions), I wasn't concerned he had four bankruptcies since he had 500+ successful businesses under his belt. You try turning a $1m loan into $10b - it's not so easy. I applaud anyone who has such a great accountant they can use the law to avoid paying taxes - I'm sure everyone wants to hire these people. I congratulate someone on using the law correctly when it comes to filing bankruptcy. If he knows and has utilised the loopholes - he knows how to fix them. The people who balked over how he spoke about women 10 years ago were also fine with Clinton having Jay-Z reiterate the same derogatory words about women in her rally. At the time of Trump's video leak, he wasn't running for president. Neither was Jay-Z last week so that topic is moot. People change year on year - 10 years is a long time for attitude changing evolution. If Trump was such a loose cannon, how did his kids come out so amazing well? Every single one of them. With four adult kids, you'd think maybe one or two would veer off track in life, but they hadn't.

So on 30th October, I cast my ballot for him based on these factors, in no particular order.

  • I want Israel to be able to breathe again and have true support - Trump has their back. Israel is every Jew's insurance policy. 
  • I want a country run like a business by a person who has a proven record.
  • I want a president that has an A-list team based on merit, not ones being indicted.
  • I want someone to quit the political crap and speak like a human, even with the mumblings and topic-switching (I speak like this, I understand it. It's not a lack of focus, it's a strong brain that can multi task and intentionally unhinge the opposition).
  • I want someone who has a solid family with great credentials in their own right.
  • I worked incredibly hard for my work visa, Green Card and Citizenship - it's a privilege and not something that anyone could pick up, like milk on a doorstep c.1980 or dire open borders.
  • I want healthcare to change as it's proven to be a disaster beyond proportions.
  • I want America to be the economic pioneer and not pimp to cheaper outside options.
  • I am absolutely sick of political crap and want D.C. to change, lead and quit the back-scratching abysmal egos so they are productive and actually do their job.
  • I don't care that the GOP is anti-abortion and un LGBT friendly as Trump is never going to let history lapse in this regard and revert back to homophobia or forcing women to continue a pregnancy term. What we have now regarding these laws will remain in positive effect. He's made it clear that it's a non issue. If it was even quarter up his agenda, I may not have voted for him.

Eyes Wide Open

What Trump achieved last night was not a surprise to me. And anyone who is reeling today, obviously had been sucked into the appalling media bias. They were too busy focusing on bashing him based on copycat of the media frenzy (and bigging up Clinton) to actually know his policies. Not ONE single Clinton supporter I spoke to knew his policies, even though they were blazoned online and reiterated multiple times in his speeches. I researched this because I wanted to know who I was voting in for. I needed facts to make an informed decision. I only work with the facts and couldn't find it on mainstream media.

And if any of these policies have tweaks as time goes by, that means a: He's running the country like a business and knows to pivot or amend to accommodate change (I'm fine with that) and b: He's taking advice from the team he respects, which is what any great leader should do as default.

Shame on the media for the unprofessional bias and I feel for everyone who is shocked. But if you're going to vote, at least focus on what the opponents are proposing and know their policies before making a decision. Do your groundwork and then make an informed vote. The ones who are floored were so infatuated with her, they simply didn't do their homework on him and his policies. They couldn't see past the media baloney.

Clinton dug her own politically corrupt grave over the past 30 years and she got what she deserved. She'll be licking her wounds and maybe one day realize that what she's achieved over three decades was nothing more than back-scratching, forever spinning circles. Trump will axe that scratch pattern.

NB: Any typos or grammatical errors - get over yourselves. I'm not a student and you're not my English teacher. Put that in your pipe and smoke it - which you can now in California thanks to yesterday's marijuana verdict.

On a brighter and absolutely unrelated note, here's a picture of Muppet - from 10 years ago. Oh, and look how she's also evolved in that time :)

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Try Find Israel on the Map

You really have to zoom in, possibly grab binoculars or even +4 reading glasses. If you're checking this from your phone, you may have a better viewing chance of enlarging to find the needle in the haystack. But no guarantees. It'll be a miracle if you spot it. Then again, us Jews love our miracles because we experience them regularly - an assurance that we're always protected by someone hovering up above (those natural disasters really come at unique times). Maybe that someone sat is on a cloud, chatting with Moses, surrounded by animated bluebirds, cartoon deer and a couple of unusually miniature pixies eating marshmallows.

Israel's the only democracy in the Middle East with 20% Arabs and 4% minorities - all enjoying freedom of speech, religion, LGBT, female empowerment and brilliant burkas on the beach (France, take note). We have 3000 years of history tied to Israel - it's a fact. Also account our property agreement statistics: Arabs sold land to Jews at over-inflated prices in the early part of the last century, because they couldn't turn the desert into anything productive, not even grow an innocent little daisy. The Jews bought the land at these accelerated costs and hey-ho, an oasis of agriculture was born. It just took a few green fingers, tenacity and brain cells. No wonder the Arabs in Gaza & West Bank want to claim the blossoming land of Israel, now the grafting has been done. Most likely because Jordan and Egypt repeatedly reject these Arabs so they have to make up twaddle to try validate something...anything. Quite mathematically impossible since the Koran has no reference to Jerusalem and the Arabs have only been in existence for 1600'ish years....and the word (repeating myself like a broken record) 'Palestinian' was only coined in the latter part of the last century.

So the next time you want to boycott Israeli/Jewish products, remember you're jeopardizing these Arabs and minorities livelihoods also. And while you're at it, quit using Google, Twitter, Facebook, Apple, drip irrigation, stop flushing the toilet, don't use voicemail and the list goes on. If you don't, you're a hypocrite. Boycotting cherry tomatoes will absolutely not affect Israel's economy. Trust me on this. BDS is pure BS, used by narrow minded individuals who read trash, bias false media.

My Wish List

Hamas and Abbas are disbanded and the Arabs in the West Bank & Gaza come under Israeli government rule. 'Palestinian' is a recently made up word - they should be proud to be called Arabs so lets stick to facts. Palestine was a region - it was never a country. That country was always called Israel. They're intelligent people yet are 'conditioned' aka brainwashed with hate from birth and it's in their DNA to blame Jews for all their self inflicted errors. So under Israel's umbrella, they'll be educated on history + facts, enjoy all the freedom that Israelis and Israeli Arabs experience and learn that martyrdom is simply a fear tactic of Hamas and Abbas to incite violence until all Jews are destroyed. Nothing more, nothing less and absolutely not for peace. But 2000 years later, us Jews don't seem to die - it must be so irritating for the haters. I feel bad for these Arabs in Gaza and the West Bank. I want them to have great, positive lives and achieve amazing world-empowering feats working alongside Israelis. Every time I see a window poster, a social media incitement reference to 'Free Palestine,' I sing unnaturally loudly:

Free Free Palestine...from Abbas & Hamas!
Free Free Palestine...from Abbas & Hamas!
Free Free Palestine...from Abbas & Hamas!

And Palestine never existed. 
Stick to historic facts and stop trying to twist it.

Which is why the UN & UNESCO are now a bias, anti-semitic laughing stock - using the majority of uneducated 'representative' mind sets to try eliminate ties with the Jews birth home, one landmark at a time. Stupid is as stupid does and stupid usually gets you a kick up the rear one day.

Gifts for the Uneducated

One day, I'll send the UN and UNESCO chicken soup, chopped liver and barrels of bagels - every Jewish holiday. I'll substitute bagels with matzoh for Pesach and a massive box of nothing for Yom Kippur. That box of nothing will be in abundance. It'll be the biggest, emptiest Magen David designed box wrapped in a white and blue bow. The type of bow that they use on cars as birthday presents or Lifetime movie romcoms. That type.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

The Irony: Venture Capitalists Killed Silicon Valley Innovation

I wrote extensively (volume four of my autobiography) in Living Off The Irony, how innovation has been killed in the Bay Area...by VC's and angels who only invest in pattern clusters. I covered this exhaustively, living and breathing the bias for years. The thing is - the moment you see a trend in types of investments made, these 'rules' absolutely sever innovation. These are the rules:

Male 20'somethings who have zero expertise in their field, no (or a shoddy) business model, all tech backgrounds with zero business skills, copying a proven model. The result:

Rules + same investment pattern = kills innovative, unique entrepreneurs chances

So reading this recent article I’m done pretending that Silicon Valley tech is visionary is also a near replica of what I published last year. I've read some comments about this article, stating it's the same crap that everyone knows. But if that's the case, isn't it about time the VC's and angels read it? They should be realizing they are absolutely the problem, causing articles like this to be written

By viewing the trends and patterns of the rules in funding, this factually validates investors have clamped down on backing creative entrepreneurs over the past 10 years. The die hards (like myself), that live, breathe and love their business for years through the worst times - and refuse to give up. They are relentless, they see something these lame investors intentionally ignore and they're chomping at the bit for funding and support - searching for that one person needle-in-a-haystack that sees what they see so they can justifiably bloom.

But they're axed because they have experience, they have a good business model, their invention is unique, they're a minority, they're around four decades old and they piss off investors because they don't fit into the 'who we will fund' rule book bible. They're told 'you're a genius,' 'your business is off the charts,' 'why has no one ever invented this before' and then you get a rejection email. Because you don't fit the rule criteria, regardless of the praise.

Investors are the sole reason innovation is lacking. They are funding the same type of kids, they refuse to listen to anyone with a sense of experience and they are blinkered. They slam the door on anyone with clout that actually has a viable model with monotonous insinuations such as 'it's a hard market to capitalize' or 'the barrier to entry is high.' Yet they then fund kids who are creating copycats of proven businesses and ignore the same questioning. Because if you fit into the rule bible, those issues are irrelevant.

Rattling the Blinkered Cages

Investors block the true entrepreneurs as it unhinges them - we don't fit into their mold. But isn't that the idea? The ones that are potentially insane in their mad, genius ideas are the ones that should be funded. The ones that make investors skin crawl, are the ones that investors should gravitate towards - because that means investors are outside their comfort zone. And that's what innovation is about.

Investors should ALWAYS feel unhinged so that they evolve simultaneously with the market. Ironically, they're stuck in a 70's time warp, demanding innovation yet refusing to change their own ways or expand their thought process.

Aside investors funding the kids, they're creating millionaires overnight that are ousting the quirky in San Francisco that used to be notorious for breeding creativity, I'm now finding it very hard to live in this city. I'm surrounded by beige people, ones that investors have grown like mediocre, unimaginative weeds. There are few original flowers left in San Francisco. I'm one of them and it's now a wilting process.

And I purely blame investors for encouraging the weeds as both lack color, originality and spread at a rate of knots. That's what San Francisco has become. It's not the mecca of innovation - the weeds are now out of control. Weeds look, speak and act the same, lacking originality yet feeding off each other's insignificant next blah unimaginative excuse for an idea. They are irritating impostors and when fed with funding, they spread to more of the same.

I just hope and pray that real inventors, like me, do find the 'it just takes one' investor or partner. Then I will absolutely make a point to get the lawnmower out and kill off those weeds and kick the investors up the backside into real world 2016. I have an unlimited supply of factually blunt acid in my DNA.

We need more innovative flowers. But until the investors get their heads out their narrow minded behinds, I'll just sit back and watch the over-inflated valuations rise, the investors losing cash as a result of yet another failed deal, and running around in literal circles trying to work out why they're stuck. I'll remember that nature always takes its course.

The flowers will one day up rise again as they're forever stronger than weeds...and San Francisco will then be that glorious, mad hub of unusual misfits that innovation adores and is crying out for.

PS: Any typos etc - get over yourself.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Stop Calling a $1b Start Up A Unicorn...Please

Never a fan of buzzwords, especially in the insular, copycat tech community. but I've written about the unicorn irresponsibly named fiasco in my autobiography Living Off The Irony and I'm going to support unicorns once again in this post.

Message to uneducated people that use the word 'unicorn' incorrectly:

Unicorns are mythical, stunning creatures of legendary proportions. They're sensitive, highly intelligent and protect their own. They have great healing powers, are gentile, docile, can cure illness instantly and is not aggressive. They are not associated with violence, danger nor fear. They manifest their beautiful characteristics into establishing harmony & world peace through humans.

So why on earth would any low IQ person call a $1b business a unicorn? Firstly, there is no number created to put a price on a unicorn's worth and if all these $1b companies are called unicorns, it defeats the objective of the singular beast. Maybe there are many unicorns but no one's ever discovered one so there might only be one or possibly millions. But we'll never know because the beast is (again) mythical. Yet there are thousands (plus) of $1b companies, accounting over 6000 are publicly traded.

Therefore, please have respect for unicorns and start calling $1b companies 'double rainbows' or 'blue moons' because they do occur occasionally. They are rare and are a fantastic sight to see. Use words wisely and refrain from naming when there is absolutely no relevance.

And a message to unicorns: 

The human race doesn't deserve to have your harmony and world peace ethics. They are still ignorant and are using your name in a context that doesn't even make sense, on any level. I sincerely apologize on behalf of all their stupidity. Forgive them for their ignorance and stay incognito please.

Signed Heddi and Muppet (true unicorn believers).

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Eccentric Characteristics - I Hit Every Single One!

A few years ago I was told I was eccentric. I mentioned this briefly in my autobiography Living Off The Irony but was so focused on other life & career objectives, I didn't research extensively until recently. It's been said that eccentrics have at least the first five characteristics... I have EVERY single one. Here's the list with a few italic add on explainers I've thrown in as validation, when I felt like it. It's also said that eccentrics live in a world of magic. In my autobiography, I have real conversations with toilet brushes, clouds, boot grips and worms. I believe everything has thoughts and feelings so why focus on beige people when I can happily banter with magic.

I always knew who I was but now I can explain it better and I refuse to tone down my everything to appease the mundane people on this planet. Thank you Dr David Weeks for validating I was always normal and the rest of the world is beige. I don't know why the rest of you are here but I know why I am:

  1. Nonconforming
  2. Creative
  3. Strongly motivated by an exceedingly powerful curiosity and related exploratory behaviour (I can't settle for someone saying 'I had a good evening last night' - I want to know why it was good, what did they do, how do they define 'good,' what happened, how did it end up - and the list goes on. I interrogate to gain the full picture. I need the full colourful picture to justify to them that they did have a good night...or maybe I believe they didn't. And if the latter, I'll explain why it wasn't so good, and I'll help them reword it to be more exciting or confirm they realize that they had a mediocre night, according to my interrogatory facts. I also can't settle for an issue being dealt with elsewhere by others: I need to be involved, even if it means taking a part time undercover job to fact find and delve deeper until the wrong has been righted).
  4. Idealistic: wants to make the world a better place and the people in it happier
  5. Happily obsessed with a number of long-lasting preoccupations (usually about five or six)
  6. Aware from early childhood that they are different - An enduring and distinct feeling of differentness from others (A lifelife of being told I'm odd, strange, crazy, unusual, etc).
  7. Intelligent, in the upper fifteen per cent of the population on tests of intelligence
  8. Opinionated and outspoken, convinced that they are right and that the rest of the world is out of step (Absolutely true - I am a fact fanatic and I'll exhaust anyone who doesn't agree with me when I know I'm right).
  9. Noncompetitive, not in need of reassurance or reinforcement from society
  10. Unusual in their eating habits and living arrangements (I eat only handfuls of food at a time, all day long grazing, in round plastic tubs/tupperwares - the same food groups for 15 years daily. Plates scare me - they're too stereotypical so foods don't get a chance to chat with others. In a plastic bowl, they're having a happy party).
  11. No need to go to a doctor unless something is wrong with them (Aside the past year, I usually go to doctors around once a decade)
  12. Not particularly interested in the opinions or company of other people, except in order to persuade them to theirs – the correct – point of view (Which goes back to point 8).
  13. Possessed of a mischievous sense of humour, charm, whimsy and wit
  14. More likely to be single, separated or divorced, or multiply separated or divorced (I never wanted a relationship aside with a pet. Since childhood, I've always prefer to be around very few people as they stifle my magic and creativity).
  15. More frequently an eldest or an only child (I always felt like a 'separate' child)
  16. A poor speller, in relation to their above average general intellectual functioning (Dr Week's Eccentric book also references eccentrics writing style is in code or riddles. My hand is too slow for my brain so I scribble impatiently, It's impossible for anyone, including me sometimes, to read what I've written as I intentionally miss out letters and I scrawl).
  17. Eccentrics prefer to talk about their thoughts rather than their feelings. There is a frequent use of the psychological defense mechanisms of rationalization and intellectualisation
  18. Slightly abrasive (Always and forever blunt I am, to the point of excessive raw honesty)
  19. Midlife changes in career or lifestyle (I formed my own ecommerce 'reverse shopping' company aged 40)
  20. Feelings of “invisibility.” which means that they believed other people did not seem to hear them or see them, or take their ideas seriously (I'm constantly frustrated with people belittling me because I unhinge and disturb their restrictive brain. It's their defense mechanism, and a constant pattern to act this way towards me. The few that stop to listen understand my logic and thought process. The vast majority that don't, are missing out on the good stuff. More fool them and their narrow minded boxed brain-set).
  21. Feel that others can only take them in small doses (I've repeatedly said this all my life to others that XYZ can't handle me so I make a point to keep away from these weak, restrictive people. Why bother with them? They're plates and I'm a round Tupperware - their life falls off the edge but mine bounds in content circles).
  22. Feel that others have stolen, or would like to steal, their ideas. In some cases, this was well-founded. (Absolutely - two global brands have stolen three of my inventions. Comeuppance will heavily dent their finances and ego one day. They also failed to follow through correctly as they didn't have my brain on board so infringed on IP yet not knowing the hows, whys etc behind my methods and the bigger, intertwined picture of all eight inventions I've formulated).
  23. Disliked small talk or other apparently inconsequential conversation
  24. A degree of social awkwardness (I'm full-on or stop - I have no middle-of-the-road pattern when I'm around people...or myself).
  25. When eccentrics are asked to comment on their eccentricity, their responses tend to be eccentric
  26. Are functioning members of society. Schizophrenics are not ordinarily aware of their inconsistencies in use of language – but eccentrics are: either they just don’t care or they actually cultivate their linguistic peculiarities. (I have a 'rap' style speed rhythm and exaggerate everything I say, hands flailing to accompany every magnificent gesture to ensure my response is drilled in permanently).
  27. On the face, it seems eccentrics tendency towards tangeniality and circumstantialities (minutely and unnecessarily detailed, or excessive circuitous in reaching its goal) conflicts with their low measured levels of digressiveness. Yet this apparent paradox actually provides a neat description of many eccentrics: while they may be bizarre and elliptical in the way they reach their goals, they are dogged about finally reaching them, however long and strange the ride. There is a method in their madness. (Many times I've spent 40 minutes answering one single question, with tangents and accentuation galore - and always bring the story back to the final answer, while completing every conceivable road map leading to it. It's all about explaining the full picture of how, why, what and answering every future question in this one single answer i.e. Not writing a blog post showing my characteristics... I had to explain most of them in validation).
  28. High proportions of eccentrics showing abnormal self reference, where the speaker repeatedly turns the conversation back to themselves, even when the subject under discussion has no apparent connection with him. (Of course... it's natural because it's relevant, not narcissistic).
  29. It’s possible that eccentrics high levels of egocentricity and self concern in their speech are simply manifestations of their innocent, even childlike vision of themselves in their world
  30. Eccentrics may be more prone to express their thoughts in strange and aberrant ways, they are not less eloquent for that. If there were such a thing as speech that was purely logical and completely devoid of any communication disorders, it would suffer from the worst linguistic defect of all: dullness. And while eccentrics may at times be infuriating, absurd and puzzling, they are never, never dull. (I've never been bored in my life. Dull people just can't handle me).
  31. Eccentrics are not concerned about how the rest of the world views them. Placed on the football field, an eccentric would simply run away with the ball in whichever direction struck their fancy, and not particularly care whether people laughed at them. Because eccentrics simply avoid situations in which they may fail to perform successfully - or do not acknowledge failure when it occurs their endocrine systems function without the destructive reproduction of cortisol and other stress related hormones - so they’re always in a state of delightfully unimpaired equilibrium. (Absolutely true with anything I've achieved - I've never failed at anything and I never will).  
  32. Creativity of eccentrics feeds their insatiable curiosity for the eccentrics inner inquisitiveness.
  33. Their forthright enthusiasm and wild diverse interests give them the energy to feel young without being narcissistic.
  34. Their feverish activity works for them. They play what is in essence a game of brainstorming for one. By expressing their creativity for a long time and in many was, they have overcome any feelings of rejection, unfairness and anger they may have harbored earlier. Their spontaneous solutions to their problems dissipate the base of neuroses in a way that gives fulfillment to them, and amuses those lucky enough to witness their joie de vivre. If you could distill what the essence of human happiness is all about, this would be it. (Anyone that says 'if you're talking, it's a fact you're not learning' is talking baloney. I learn the best when I'm self brainstorming as I work through it in abundance, exhaustively until solved. I'm also repetitive when around others - as each repetition helps me explain it better, ironically). 
  35. Their minds are always buzzing furiously with ideas and what can be salvaged from the exotic ideas and seemingly unanswerable questions that they propagate with enormous energy.
  36. They don't dress unusually, they're more discreet and like to hide in the crowd. (I can wear the same clothes for months on end - its my personality and aura that freaks people out. I don't need to be adding insult to their limited injury by wearing hats covered in Ritz crackers and 17 scarves wrapped on my arms in summer).
Also add that I'm an Aries with Aries Rising (also here) so the world gets a multiple dose of me. I like me. I've always been told 'I've never met anyone like you,' but I've never been able to say that about anyone...aside Muppet, who I say to hourly, on the hour or five minutes past, give or take a couple of seconds.

Now you know...

Friday, August 19, 2016

Pets Rule

I've never met a dog I didn't adore
I've never met a person I was not suspicious of

Every time I see a dog on the street, I have to hug it
Every time I see a person on the street, I feel uncomfortable

I'd rather learn from dogs than people. Dogs know exactly why they're here yet people have no idea. 

Dogs are pure, unfiltered, have only beneficial intentions and honest
People are not

Dogs freaking rule...

Monday, August 8, 2016

Thought Leadership

Not a fan of buzz words... Maybe everyone can now quit trending jargon? 

Because 'thought leaders' actually means this:

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Advocating for SF to Refund us on a Diversity Bait/Switch

I used to live in Hayes Valley and then moved to the Inner Richmond District. For many years, I only ventured to Golden Gate Park or the 'Avenues' when I was craving to check out worms, festivals and raccoons. Now living a spit's throw from GGP, I'm craving the Sunday Roller Discos, Swing Dancing and resident freebie access to the Botanical Gardens.

I'm gravitating to nature because San Francisco's losing its diversity - but those worms have astutely maintained their personality - and I'm hanging onto them like a lifeline of SF once loved.

Last year I joined a long term volunteer team for Friends of the Urban Forest, FUF, (no need to be hyperlinking references), advocating that this November public vote ballot: where the city would retake control of street trees. They're currently dumped in the hands of property owners. Today, the supervisors will announce if they support this ballot for November voting. I hope they do because the city is cash rich, thanks to a mayor who pimped himself to give tax free access to tech companies and has maxed on his personal, financial gain as a result. It's always political PMS at city hall! This is accounting the city hasn't gained though, and diversity is diminishing based on high costs of living - thanks to gentrification in abundance. Last week I walked down Market Street and it stank of urine, worse than ever. So much for the ivory tower tech companies supporting local businesses and using their tax havens to re-inject back into the Tendernob areas. They're more like nobs that have no tender bone in their body. Where's the paying forward? Oh right, they're using that cash to lobby for less laws on their bottom lines. Stupid me!

I'm also starting to yell back at drivers that scream profanities at me; they truly (in their hearts of hearts) believe they do not need to yield to pedestrians, yet their daily feat from A to B includes ram rodding as many walkers as possible. So I'm now on the Walk SF campaign, Vision Zero initiative and spent the past seven months verbally ram rodding my way to involvement. Hurrah for yesterday when I met with the SFMTA, after the FUF advocate 'schmooze as many supervisors into voting the ballot' series of meetings.

The drivers are primarily the gentrified type - again the ones who eat free food in their ivory offices, bitch about low salaries even though it's their first job, and have the entitled attitude that they can bulldoze through the city during their heyday. That heyday will be over when the next city creates a tech bubble. Until them, they're demolishing our city one 4x4 at a time, outing diverse homeowners and then destroying the interior of the city's much beloved, unique architecture - a feat they'll then destroy, flip and make a killing on. Any new homeowner that doesn't have an over-inflated salary needs to account that buying a home includes acquiring a tree that the city's not maintained. So if a pedestrian trips over concrete, uplifted by tree roots...they will sue the homeowner, not the city. Does any normal homeowner have $100k put aside just in case they're faced with 'trip/fall' litigation?

Then there's the mass of 'live in a window' apartments being built. Same structure, style, insignificant architectural beige attitude - that ironically, attracts the same personality of gentrified people. Attraction does attract the same ole.

Gentrification has caused this. The major's 'open doors to tech' has killed it and that's why I live for Sundays in GGP. I love the feather boa rollerbladers, the 'no Pokemon Go' walkers who refuse to zap an icon in the Botanical Gardens and the swing dancers who can't Snapchat or they'll lose their two step coordination. And because there are no lunatic cars in the park, it's safe to walk.

Us long term locals of SF, and accounting the respected die-hards who were born, raised and refuse to uproot resident, deserve a key to the city. We have been duped with a new bait/switch belief that SF is the global mecca of mad, amazing, quirky, odd ball and unhinged 'anything goes so you'll fit in if you don't fit in anywhere else' attitude. We're now in an era that Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram and all the other social platforms demand we are 'open, connected and transparent' but if we want to complain to them about what they've done to the city....there is no phone number or way or reaching them. Irony at its best: demanding these 'mission statements' yet hiding away in their obscenely designed, same ole wood floor/new fixtures, offices with that one brick wall for 'authenticity.' Bollocks to that.

The city has stripped itself of its famous rainbow culture and like the saturated flurry of mediocre coders...it's turning into binary black or white residents. I demand a refund from San Francisco for being duped into believing it was unique. The simple fact is...it's not.

PS - Any typos, get over yourselves :)

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Be A Founder, not a Bounder

Bounder definition = any Founder that bolts or bounds away from persevering with their start up.

Last week, I read about yet another tech start up that after generating a good chunk of seed funding ($1m), a mere seven months after launch, they decided to shut down. After less than a year of building a business, generating investment, going live and then bailing, it 100% implies they have no idea how start-up grafting works. It can take years before a die hard entrepreneur even considers shutting down servers and pulling that painful plug. This is after trying every conceivable method in scaling, marketing, advertising, promoting, PR'ing, tweaking UI/UX, introducing features, removing irrelevant features, customer case studies, consumer survey feedback and analyzing results on traction along with analytic's assessment and building the bloody business while running financials and having sleepless nights about burn rates. Therefore, this company (like thousands of others I read about), bolted after a sheer seven months because life didn't turn up roses. I put them in the exact same entitled category as the Yelp employee who cried a river because her first job didn't land her a $100k signing bonus, corner panoramic view office and free sushi presented by AI (is there such a thing?).

This one start up in particular claimed they had customer acquisition problems and felt it was more appropriate to walk away from their business. I balked. I'm thoroughly sick and tired of hearing about entitled millennials who obviously are lacking the following:
  • Tenacity
  • Ability to continue through the bad times and persevere
  • Sheer comprehension of the definition of 'founder' or 'entrepreneur
Yet contain all these ingredients in abundance:
  • Their (zero business model) start up isn't going their way nor scaling at a rate of knots...so they bolt 
  • Have an excess of entitlement and expect that if the start up isn't perfect, they'll create yet another mediocre business and rally for funding, for this second 'attempt' to desperately maintain their 'entrepreneurial' title
  • Not understanding (more like clueless personified) on how to run a business and the 18 hour/7 days a week work it requires to keep going...for years
Which brings me to the most important element: Not one of them care about their innovation. If they did, they would persevere through blood, sweat and tears (repeat an infinite number of times per day) for years before sadly considering if their MVP is a solution to a problem that no one is experiencing.

Which Came First?

The new chicken and egg syndrome of investors enabling Bounders is crippling the decent name of real Founders. Both investor and snotty nosed kids should hang their heads in shame. The more that Bounders are fed with cash, the more they multiply like a disease infiltrating and damaging the 'brand' of worthy entrepreneurs. 

The more these spoiled kids create start ups that fail within a year and then bolt or bow out, the more these Bounders make a bad name for the industry. The VC's & Angels are also to blame, by investing in kids who have zero expertise in their industry, a laughable or nonexistent business model and creating a copycat version of a proven, successful business, i.e. they didn't innovate, they simply jumped on a hot bandwagon. Investors should not be funding these brats and their 'lets live with our head in the cloud' Bounder attitudes. They should ONLY fund & support true entrepreneurs who focus on their start up 24/7, have proven experience and know how to make money from it. 

So last week, after reading a depressing acceleration of more articles about start ups shutting down for the exact same reason as the one above, I coined the name Bounder. It's intentionally derogatory, belittling and ridicules these kids to shame. Name calling is bullying yet referring to someone as a Bounder will guarantee they never take entrepreneurship for granted. Not on my watch...

Advice for Investors

In the later volumes of my autobiography, (Living Off The Irony) I reference my beef with investors. So a few tips for all you fat wallet individuals, incubators and corporations who can't see for looking while looking for the next best thing: 
  • If you meet an entrepreneur that doesn't meet your wish list check boxes, these are the people who you should be paying close attention to. They're probably crazy (Steve Jobs style), are beyond passionate about their start up and defy the list of: 20'something tech millennial with no credentials nor business model
  • If you hear a story about an entrepreneur trying to create the impossible, call them crazy (like many of you have called me.. Do I care? Do I flump!)....and then invest in their crazy idea
  • Stop investing in the team - the team has a good chance of not producing innovation but behind every incredible innovation, is a potential genius
  • Women bring in a proven 35% ROI so why the hell are you not scrambling towards every pair of boobs?
  • If you like a non tech entrepreneur and love their invention, fund them. The Founder can easily find a tech team - they're a dime a dozen. Don't presume tech kids know how to PR & market their invention. Trust me, they're clueless. I see you funding male tech kids, throwing $30m at them and years later, their unique traffic a month is less than 500k. Lame, right?
  • Stop demanding entrepreneurs give you a lazy elevator pitch i.e. a combination of X and Y (X & Y = successful businesses). Use your brains and think outside the box. The more the pitch is unlike any copycat combination, the more you should be interested
  • Stop enabling Bounders. It makes you and them look weak and I guarantee, you'll be kicking yourselves for funding duplicate start ups that shut down before they hit their 3rd trimester
  • Cease using the word unicorn to describe a successful start up. A unicorn is a mythical beast that protects its own. It has no relevance to a start up. Call them double rainbows or blue moons but PLEASE stop with the stupid buzz words that lack relevance. Unicorns and I are wailing in despair over your ill use of the context. 
On that note, Muppet and I are off for a mild stroll as she's farting up a storm - sweet potato has its down sides. She pulled a ligament in her black leg (last year was the white one) and it could take 2 hours for her to hobble around the block. But we guarantee we'll be stopping to smell the roses along the way. Any grammatical or spelling errors in this post, get over it. I'm not an English teacher.