Thursday, September 29, 2016

Stop Calling a $1b Start Up A Unicorn...Please

Never a fan of buzzwords, especially in the insular, copycat tech community. but I've written about the unicorn irresponsibly named fiasco in my autobiography Living Off The Irony and I'm going to support unicorns once again in this post.

Message to uneducated people that use the word 'unicorn' incorrectly:

Unicorns are mythical, stunning creatures of legendary proportions. They're sensitive, highly intelligent and protect their own. They have great healing powers, are gentile, docile, can cure illness instantly and is not aggressive. They are not associated with violence, danger nor fear. They manifest their beautiful characteristics into establishing harmony & world peace through humans.

So why on earth would any low IQ person call a $1b business a unicorn? Firstly, there is no number created to put a price on a unicorn's worth and if all these $1b companies are called unicorns, it defeats the objective of the singular beast. Maybe there are many unicorns but no one's ever discovered one so there might only be one or possibly millions. But we'll never know because the beast is (again) mythical. Yet there are thousands (plus) of $1b companies, accounting over 6000 are publicly traded.

Therefore, please have respect for unicorns and start calling $1b companies 'double rainbows' or 'blue moons' because they do occur occasionally. They are rare and are a fantastic sight to see. Use words wisely and refrain from naming when there is absolutely no relevance.

And a message to unicorns: 

The human race doesn't deserve to have your harmony and world peace ethics. They are still ignorant and are using your name in a context that doesn't even make sense, on any level. I sincerely apologize on behalf of all their stupidity. Forgive them for their ignorance and stay incognito please.

Signed Heddi and Muppet (true unicorn believers).

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Eccentric Characteristics - I Hit Every Single One!

A few years ago I was told I was eccentric. I mentioned this briefly in my autobiography Living Off The Irony but was so focused on other life & career objectives, I didn't research extensively until recently. It's been said that eccentrics have at least the first five characteristics... I have EVERY single one. Here's the list with a few italic add on explainers I've thrown in as validation, when I felt like it. It's also said that eccentrics live in a world of magic. In my autobiography, I have real conversations with toilet brushes, clouds, boot grips and worms. I believe everything has thoughts and feelings so why focus on beige people when I can happily banter with magic.

I always knew who I was but now I can explain it better and I refuse to tone down my everything to appease the mundane people on this planet. Thank you Dr David Weeks for validating I was always normal and the rest of the world is beige. I don't know why the rest of you are here but I know why I am:

  1. Nonconforming
  2. Creative
  3. Strongly motivated by an exceedingly powerful curiosity and related exploratory behaviour (I can't settle for someone saying 'I had a good evening last night' - I want to know why it was good, what did they do, how do they define 'good,' what happened, how did it end up - and the list goes on. I interrogate to gain the full picture. I need the full colourful picture to justify to them that they did have a good night...or maybe I believe they didn't. And if the latter, I'll explain why it wasn't so good, and I'll help them reword it to be more exciting or confirm they realize that they had a mediocre night, according to my interrogatory facts. I also can't settle for an issue being dealt with elsewhere by others: I need to be involved, even if it means taking a part time undercover job to fact find and delve deeper until the wrong has been righted).
  4. Idealistic: wants to make the world a better place and the people in it happier
  5. Happily obsessed with a number of long-lasting preoccupations (usually about five or six)
  6. Aware from early childhood that they are different - An enduring and distinct feeling of differentness from others (A lifelife of being told I'm odd, strange, crazy, unusual, etc).
  7. Intelligent, in the upper fifteen per cent of the population on tests of intelligence
  8. Opinionated and outspoken, convinced that they are right and that the rest of the world is out of step (Absolutely true - I am a fact fanatic and I'll exhaust anyone who doesn't agree with me when I know I'm right).
  9. Noncompetitive, not in need of reassurance or reinforcement from society
  10. Unusual in their eating habits and living arrangements (I eat only handfuls of food at a time, all day long grazing, in round plastic tubs/tupperwares - the same food groups for 15 years daily. Plates scare me - they're too stereotypical so foods don't get a chance to chat with others. In a plastic bowl, they're having a happy party).
  11. No need to go to a doctor unless something is wrong with them (Aside the past year, I usually go to doctors around once a decade)
  12. Not particularly interested in the opinions or company of other people, except in order to persuade them to theirs – the correct – point of view (Which goes back to point 8).
  13. Possessed of a mischievous sense of humour, charm, whimsy and wit
  14. More likely to be single, separated or divorced, or multiply separated or divorced (I never wanted a relationship aside with a pet. Since childhood, I've always prefer to be around very few people as they stifle my magic and creativity).
  15. More frequently an eldest or an only child (I always felt like a 'separate' child)
  16. A poor speller, in relation to their above average general intellectual functioning (Dr Week's Eccentric book also references eccentrics writing style is in code or riddles. My hand is too slow for my brain so I scribble impatiently, It's impossible for anyone, including me sometimes, to read what I've written as I intentionally miss out letters and I scrawl).
  17. Eccentrics prefer to talk about their thoughts rather than their feelings. There is a frequent use of the psychological defense mechanisms of rationalization and intellectualisation
  18. Slightly abrasive (Always and forever blunt I am, to the point of excessive raw honesty)
  19. Midlife changes in career or lifestyle (I formed my own ecommerce 'reverse shopping' company aged 40)
  20. Feelings of “invisibility.” which means that they believed other people did not seem to hear them or see them, or take their ideas seriously (I'm constantly frustrated with people belittling me because I unhinge and disturb their restrictive brain. It's their defense mechanism, and a constant pattern to act this way towards me. The few that stop to listen understand my logic and thought process. The vast majority that don't, are missing out on the good stuff. More fool them and their narrow minded boxed brain-set).
  21. Feel that others can only take them in small doses (I've repeatedly said this all my life to others that XYZ can't handle me so I make a point to keep away from these weak, restrictive people. Why bother with them? They're plates and I'm a round Tupperware - their life falls off the edge but mine bounds in content circles).
  22. Feel that others have stolen, or would like to steal, their ideas. In some cases, this was well-founded. (Absolutely - two global brands have stolen three of my inventions. Comeuppance will heavily dent their finances and ego one day. They also failed to follow through correctly as they didn't have my brain on board so infringed on IP yet not knowing the hows, whys etc behind my methods and the bigger, intertwined picture of all eight inventions I've formulated).
  23. Disliked small talk or other apparently inconsequential conversation
  24. A degree of social awkwardness (I'm full-on or stop - I have no middle-of-the-road pattern when I'm around people...or myself).
  25. When eccentrics are asked to comment on their eccentricity, their responses tend to be eccentric
  26. Are functioning members of society. Schizophrenics are not ordinarily aware of their inconsistencies in use of language – but eccentrics are: either they just don’t care or they actually cultivate their linguistic peculiarities. (I have a 'rap' style speed rhythm and exaggerate everything I say, hands flailing to accompany every magnificent gesture to ensure my response is drilled in permanently).
  27. On the face, it seems eccentrics tendency towards tangeniality and circumstantialities (minutely and unnecessarily detailed, or excessive circuitous in reaching its goal) conflicts with their low measured levels of digressiveness. Yet this apparent paradox actually provides a neat description of many eccentrics: while they may be bizarre and elliptical in the way they reach their goals, they are dogged about finally reaching them, however long and strange the ride. There is a method in their madness. (Many times I've spent 40 minutes answering one single question, with tangents and accentuation galore - and always bring the story back to the final answer, while completing every conceivable road map leading to it. It's all about explaining the full picture of how, why, what and answering every future question in this one single answer i.e. Not writing a blog post showing my characteristics... I had to explain most of them in validation).
  28. High proportions of eccentrics showing abnormal self reference, where the speaker repeatedly turns the conversation back to themselves, even when the subject under discussion has no apparent connection with him. (Of course... it's natural because it's relevant, not narcissistic).
  29. It’s possible that eccentrics high levels of egocentricity and self concern in their speech are simply manifestations of their innocent, even childlike vision of themselves in their world
  30. Eccentrics may be more prone to express their thoughts in strange and aberrant ways, they are not less eloquent for that. If there were such a thing as speech that was purely logical and completely devoid of any communication disorders, it would suffer from the worst linguistic defect of all: dullness. And while eccentrics may at times be infuriating, absurd and puzzling, they are never, never dull. (I've never been bored in my life. Dull people just can't handle me).
  31. Eccentrics are not concerned about how the rest of the world views them. Placed on the football field, an eccentric would simply run away with the ball in whichever direction struck their fancy, and not particularly care whether people laughed at them. Because eccentrics simply avoid situations in which they may fail to perform successfully - or do not acknowledge failure when it occurs their endocrine systems function without the destructive reproduction of cortisol and other stress related hormones - so they’re always in a state of delightfully unimpaired equilibrium. (Absolutely true with anything I've achieved - I've never failed at anything and I never will).  
  32. Creativity of eccentrics feeds their insatiable curiosity for the eccentrics inner inquisitiveness.
  33. Their forthright enthusiasm and wild diverse interests give them the energy to feel young without being narcissistic.
  34. Their feverish activity works for them. They play what is in essence a game of brainstorming for one. By expressing their creativity for a long time and in many was, they have overcome any feelings of rejection, unfairness and anger they may have harbored earlier. Their spontaneous solutions to their problems dissipate the base of neuroses in a way that gives fulfillment to them, and amuses those lucky enough to witness their joie de vivre. If you could distill what the essence of human happiness is all about, this would be it. (Anyone that says 'if you're talking, it's a fact you're not learning' is talking baloney. I learn the best when I'm self brainstorming as I work through it in abundance, exhaustively until solved. I'm also repetitive when around others - as each repetition helps me explain it better, ironically). 
  35. Their minds are always buzzing furiously with ideas and what can be salvaged from the exotic ideas and seemingly unanswerable questions that they propagate with enormous energy.
  36. They don't dress unusually, they're more discreet and like to hide in the crowd. (I can wear the same clothes for months on end - its my personality and aura that freaks people out. I don't need to be adding insult to their limited injury by wearing hats covered in Ritz crackers and 17 scarves wrapped on my arms in summer).
Also add that I'm an Aries with Aries Rising (also here) so the world gets a multiple dose of me. I like me. I've always been told 'I've never met anyone like you,' but I've never been able to say that about anyone...aside Muppet, who I say to hourly, on the hour or five minutes past, give or take a couple of seconds.

Now you know...